We’ll be mentioning some things that you need to trash out with your partner before you tie the knot, thrash out all these things one by one before jumping into marriage.
We have a lot behaviours that people are looking up to for improvement on, but there are some that concerns both parties (the man and the woman), we have habits of breaking promises on both parts which needs to be trashed out.
Most especially when your man disrespects or diminish you, so as a woman, you need to talk that out before thinking of tying the knot.
We have we made a list of what you need to trash out before thinking of tying the knot.
9jaheritage got you covered.
1. Your communication level
Before you talk about marriage, look at your communication level, when your partner or yourself are not communicating well, then you need to sit down and talk about it, iron things out from that angle before thinking of tying the knot.
Instead of having productive conversation about sensitive or tricky topics like love making, family issues, money, siblings and work, it’s obvious your partner don’t normally argues about all this topics or find ways to avoid such discussion together.
Communication is the corner stone of a strong marriage, if you can’t talk seriously about stuffs like these, then you might not be ready for marriage yet. You need to take a chill pill.
The problems that develops when love-standing problems remain unsolved can ruin your relationship, So, if you’re having an issue to out and you don’t talk about it to come to a reasonable compromise or understanding, then if it keeps accumulating, unresolved problems might ruin your relationship if you’re not careful.
That’s why communication is very important, don’t shy away from any problems or issues that might come up during the course of the relationship not to make mention of your marriage. So, trash it out.
2. When they have recently gone through a major life event
It could be a career change, it could be negatives like illness, death of parents or siblings, or lost of job. These are not reasons to call off your wedding, you only need to discuss them with your partner before thinking of tying the knot with your partner.
I’m not saying you should not get married if you noticed these things, trash them out before thinking of tying the knot.
It could be a positive ones like career change, change of environment or promotion. All of these issues need to be trashed out.
If there is a change in career, that means your partner will need sometime to have a solid foundation in that new career, bringing fought marriage at that point could be dangerous and disastrous.
He/she needs sometime to get deeply rooted inside that carrier before you can now talk about marriage.
3. When your partner does not know how to control his/her emotions
We all have good days and bad days, no doubt, on bad days, we may not be in the best versions of ourselves, perhaps we are short tempered but it’s a bad behaviour. If this keeps coming up more often, you’re pushing your partner away from you.
I’m not saying you should pretend that everything is well when everything is not well, but what I’m trying to say is that you should control your emotions, don’t let life get a strong grip of your emotions.
When we’re talking about emotions, we have the positive emotions and the negative, if your partner doesn’t know how to express his/her feelings of anger or sadness, it’s a big problem.
When you find out that your partner doesn’t know how to control his/her emotions, you need to trash that out before thinking of tying the knot.
4. When there is a case of cheating
If you’ve cheated on your partner or your partner has cheated on you, it’s something you need to sit down and talk about before thinking of tying the knot.
Infidelity doesn’t necessary have to be a deal breaker, it could happened at any time but it shouldn’t be that when it happens there will be a break up.
If your partner is genuinely remorseful and willing to work on changing totally, then you could be on the safe side, but if not, underlying issues in your relationship about infidelity and unfaithfulness are issues that you don’t handle with hands of levity, you need to attend to such issues critically and settle them before tying the knot.
5. When they have stopped having or talking about making love with you.
Of course during the course of your relationship, it’s normal for both partners’ level of sexual desires to fluctuate, what matters is whether you and your partner are able to have a healthy discussion about this, inevitable ups and downs, and also how best you can express what you do and what you do not want to be done in bed.
So, communication is playing a key role here again talking about your personal life.
When you’re no longer attracted to yourself intimately, that’s a Big problem. Work on this issue before you tie the knot, or else this very big issue at hand might generate into something that will ruin your marriage.
6. When you are dealing with significant and mental issues
That one is self explanatory, if your partner is dealing with significant and mental issues, it has to be settled before you think of getting married to that person, if not, the different actions and reactions from that person might be misinterpreted to have been caused by the significant mental issues and that is not healthy for your marriage.
It might be addiction to drugs, alcohol or gambling. Either of these forms of addictions is a big problem to you, if you’re finding it difficult to cope, then it’s something you need to talk out to your partner about.
If you can endure, fine, but of course I will always advice, don’t do drugs, gambling is a no!, no!, alcohol should be moderate. But then, if you think you can’t cope with either of the most minuet form of alcohol intake on the part of your partner, it’s advisable you don’t tie the knot because that will be the basis of all the problems you’ll be having.
Aside the health implications, if you know you can’t cope with someone who is drinking, reason being that, whatever the person does right or wrong you will always have it at the back of your mind that he/she is drunk, and that might not be true.
If you know you can’t cope with it, don’t endure.
8. When your partner keeps secret from you
For no just reason should your partner keep secrets from you. It might be secret about himself/herself, secret about her business or secret about her family. For no reason should you keep secret from your partner, if you’re intending to be “one”, why then would you want to be divided?.
No need to keep any form of secrets from each other, if you are doing that, you need to have a rethink and a turn around.
9. When your partner puts people or other plans before you.
When he puts it before you, sometimes it is permissible, but when it happened that he puts other people or plans before you frequently, this is when you need to sit down with him/her and trash it out.
Does your partner conceal plans with you when something comes up with his friends or maybe she picks up a non-urgent work call when you both are out on a dinner date or even celebrating something very important? If so, it might be a sign that your partner is not taking you and the relationship serious.
If you decide you want to get married, then you are ready to place your partner above all. So, when it happens that on a frequent basis that your lover puts other people and plans before you, it’s something both of you needs to sit down together and talk about it.
Thank you and I appreciate you for being there to read 9 things you need to trash out before getting married.
I hope you’ve been able to learn a few tips from the journal.