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8 Bad Habits That can Ruin Your Marriage (A Must Read For All Serious Lovers)

Marriage is an eternal union which should last forever, but going on the reality on ground, it doesn’t happen that way all of the time, that’s why we’ll see two genuinely great people starting up their love life well and somewhere along the line they are going to miss it and the reason why they’re missing it might be because they were not aware of some bad habits that they were engaging themselves in that ruined their union.

Prevention they say is better than cure and ignorance kills faster than poison.
Check the list below of the bad habits you need to be aware of in your relationship.
Sit back, this will be fun.

1. Not being on the same page with each other
Every couple needs to be aware that selflessness is the key, not selfishness. It is easy to get lost in your own perspective and fail to see your partner’s view point on important things, but you never know that’s is causing them to feel you’re valid and this happens to men all the time, being naturally egoistic, they want their decisions to be final especially when we have a case that the man is more experience in life and there is a lot of margin when it comes to education, so the man feels “I’m more educated, I’ve gone around the world, I’m very exposed, so I know what I’m saying is not a mistake”.
No man is an island of knowledge, did you get married to a dummy in the first place?, if your answer is “no” then you should always consider your partner’s view point. Try as much as possible to share the same page, a page is long enough to accommodate you and her.

So don’t always feel your page is the best, always try and value your partner’s perspective, if you’ve not been doing that because you feel you’re the man of the house, have a change of mind, it will help your relationship better.


2. Not meeting each other’s needs
This is a different ballgame entirely, every person have a unique needs and hope their partners will meet those needs. But sometimes couples fails to speak up about those needs or presume their partner needs are the same as their own and often leaving their significant order on a feeling alienated.

Your partner has their needs and you also have your own needs, don’t you ever assume that you know your partner’s needs and don’t you ever assume that your partner should know your needs. That is where communication comes to play, meeting each other’s needs is way more than imposing gift on your partner, find out the kind of things he/she loves.
Know your partner’s needs and don’t assume that your partner should know your own needs.


3. Allowing intimacy to reduce
Intimacy can reduce as a result of different occurrences, the affection, the connection, the tenderness that you once had to share with each other can make intimacy to reduce and you might end up being mare roommates or flat mates instead of being lovers.

Once you notice that the affection, the intimacy, the connection and the way you communicate is diminishing, please know that divorce isn’t the answer. Admit you need to buckle up and make sure you stand up tall and prove to him/her that you two can make this happen again.
Love covers all things and that means you need to forgive each other of your past sins and work things out between yourselves.


4. Harboring unforgiveness for each other
This is a very critical one. Unspoken or unresolved issues can severely poison one’s healthy relationship. If you’re holding grudges, you need to resolve it as soon as possible. It’s important that you don’t let the sun set on your anger, if you’re having issues with your partner, try to resolve it immediately. Imagine the damage you’re causing within those periods you are holding the grudges in your relationship, settle all dispute amicably and be ready to compromise.


5. disconnect become a normal thing
This is when couple start saying things like “I love you but the love is diminishing”. Truthfully, it is. For your man to say such a thing, it’s out of their abundance of their heart the mouth is speaking. So you need to take it very seriously, this should be seen as a call to action, this should not be seen as a call to jealousy. When people say stuffs like this, it’s a sincere confession from a partner on the other side, it may lead to break up.

Couple seems to find this as a final resting place, but the truth is that you should not accept defeat, when you such confession from your partner, he/she is not telling you that they are tired totally, he/she still loves you but you need to make amendment.


6. Neglecting each other
You just have to stop neglecting each other, blowing each other off forgetting to follow through all your promises, failing to pay attention to details.
The continuation of these behaviours will eventually be seen as a blatant disrespect for your partner. It’s understandable if you are busy with your work but that shouldn’t top the list compared to the attention your partner should get.

Try to have a format that will work for both of you, both of you need to compromise and cut down on some activities so as to have time for yourselves.
Neglecting each other is neglecting your love. Try as much as you can as a couple to stop the neglect and embrace the love you have for each other.


7. Complaining over your partner’s short-comings
It is a very bad habit to nag over your partner’s short-comings whether out loud or mentally taking note, the eventually results in those faults becomes the only thing you’d see in your partner.
You know your partner has a shortcoming and now you keep on complaining about it, nagging over it in a loud way, it’s bad.
If you keep on doing that, that will be the only thing you’ll recognize about your partner because you have a mental note already of the particular issues, and you know the negatives are more registered and easily remembered by anyone compared to positives.
You need to change your habit of criticizing each other. Learn to live together in peace.

This marriage we are talking of is a life time thing and that’s why deliberation and compromises are highly important, learn to compromise.


8. Throwing attention and affection elsewhere
Whether by having an affair or pouring all of your attention on the kids, you have checked out and threw both the attention and affection elsewhere.
Women, this is for you. A lot of women find themselves loving their children and forgetting about their husband.

If you allow your attention and affection to be directed somewhere else besides your husband or your wife, then that is the beginning of the end of intimacy in your marriage. And I hope it doesn’t degenerate to ending the marriage in short.
Women, why do you shower your love to your children instead of your husband?.

They’re different offices, the office of your husband has to remain as that. You need to be totally loyal to your husband, he has two be your best friend.
Please understand this facts, it’s going to help you a lot.

The End!!
I hope you have been able to learn a few tips from the journal.
Cheers!


About the author

Oluwatobi Moses

I am Oluwatobi Moses, CEO 9jaheritage, a passionate blogger and a learner.

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